The thousands of women who read my advice or go through my programs often have mixed feelings.
Sometimes, they want to cry when they realize all the mistakes they’ve made with men.
And sometimes they just want to hit me…
They get really angry with me – they think I’m saying it’s all the woman’s fault, and that men just get a free ride. They think I’m excusing men for all sorts of unacceptable behavior. They think I’m stuck in the dark ages, and that my advice is disempowering to women – without addressing how men can be to blame for so many relationship problems.
That’s the opposite of what I mean to do. Let me explain:
Why do I write advice for women? Because I want to help them avoid bad relationships and heartbreak. A long time ago, I chose to become deeply aware of the dynamics in relationships, both from my own successes and failures, and from the incredible work of authors, psychologists and thought leaders who have come before me.
I can trace the origins of my interest in relationship dynamics back to childhood, when I witnessed my smart, loving, hard-working mom struggle with dating and relationships after she divorced my dad. I saw boyfriends come and go. I saw her doubt herself. I was there when she would argue and fight with them. It seemed like the same patterns were playing themselves out. She’d meet someone, feel happy and energized that maybe this time it was going to work out, that maybe this was going to be the guy, but ultimately it didn’t work out.
Eventually, she did meet someone and got married. At first my mom and stepdad’s relationship seemed to hold great promise, but it wasn’t long before they began to have problems, too. By then, I was much older and I could see the bigger picture and both sides of the argument. I could see how they were misunderstanding each other, but unable to see it due to being so tied to being “right.”
Watching my mom and being there through the ups and downs of her love life gave me a lot of insight into the female mind. I realized that women wanted and expected certain things from men, and men needed and expected certain things from women. Oftentimes, however, the core of the problem was simply misunderstanding where the other person was coming from. This was a lightbulb moment for me.
As an adult, I took this “lightbulb moment” into my own relationships. I started seeing what I was doing wrong and how I was being misunderstood—and misunderstanding. I also started seeing my friends struggle with the same issues in relationships, and it drove me to learn more about what works and what doesn’t, and why.
I’ve taken everything I’ve learned in the last 15 or so years and put it all in my free newsletter and programs.
I realized that men and women were more alike than they are different. And that it’s only when BOTH of them take responsibility that they can create truly amazing relationships together.
But because of my upbringing, I decided to focus specifically on reaching out to women – showing them how to develop the inner qualities that make them happy and, by happy coincidence, make them the most desirable to men.
I also became adamant about one thing: THE MAN YOU CHOOSE IS THE MAN YOU GET!
It was my hope that by empowering these women and instilling self-confidence, and teaching them the inner workings of a man’s mind, they would also learn how to avoid immature men and instead choose the kind of man who was WORTHY OF THEM.
Not every man will grow up with the kind of family environment I did, one that propelled me to understand women, understand myself, and strive to be the kind of man who was worthy of a good woman.
But throughout his life, every man has ample opportunity to take responsibility for himself and how he wants his relationships to go. It is my wish for you that you find a man who is committed to complete responsibility.
My job is to show you how men think and how to develop those inner qualities in yourself that will make you see clearly – and choose a man you’ll want to continue choosing, every day of your lives together.