You think that you are taking the steps to draw him closer, but in fact you are pushing him away! So read on to get the inside scoop about what he’s really thinking, and start showing him that you are the one woman he can’t live without.
Have you ever bought a man a big gift or run his errands without his asking? You think you are “being nice”, but what he sees is that you are trying to buy his affection.
For a man to want to be with you, he needs to see being with you as the ultimate prize, and not all the nice gifts and actions that come with it.
I don’t mean that it isn’t a good thing to show your love and thoughtfulness, but if a guy hasn’t fully committed to you yet, he’ll interpret your kindness as you trying to bribe him into falling in love.
A man falls in a love with who a woman is and how she makes him feel, not what she will do for him. He may like all the attention and gifts, and he might even keep you around while it’s convenient. But he won’t see you as the woman he can spend the rest of his life with.
You think that sharing your feelings and desire to be with him will help him open up and feel connected to you. But what he hears is you trying to convince him to commit to you.
A man values things he has to work hard to earn. When you share your feelings and “pursue” his love, he won’t see you as a prize he has to work to win. He’ll take you for granted, or grow disinterested, and start being drawn to less available women.
He hears the feelings that you share in order to grow closer, and he instinctively moves farther away.
This is the most frequent and most dangerous of the attraction-killers. So many women mistake sex for intimacy, and so they use it to try to “make” a man feel connected.
After all, the more you’re physically intimate, the deeper your feelings get for him. So why shouldn’t it work the same way for HIM, right?
The reality is that men can often be physically intimate with a woman and not even be THINKING “relationship” at all. To him, it’s just sex. It’s fun and feels nice, and he’ll disappear as soon as you start asking for anything deeper or “real.”
None of these strategies work because they communicate to a man that you are desperate or needy, even when it’s not actually true. Instead of trying to prove to him that he should love you, you have to show him that he’ll need to prove to YOU that he’s worthy of your love.
You are a prize that he’d be lucky to have. And the sooner you start seeing yourself that way, and showing him that’s how you see yourself, the sooner you’ll have him eating out of your hand.
So stop bribing, and convincing and sleeping your way to his affection. Instead, learn how to demonstrate to a man that you are a prize that he is desperate to win.
And the best place to learn how to do that is in my free dating advice newsletter. It will teach you everything you need to know about the inner workings of a male mind, from dating all the way to lasting commitment.
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